Tracking, Tracking, Tracking

I know that intrinsic motivations should be enough to keep me accountable to myself and my goals. But, my tracking spreadsheet has become a vital piece of my personal accountability puzzle. The last week I didn't track at all, and I must admit that while I was pretty okay with my Thanksgiving decisions, the rest of this week doesn't quite get the same nod of approval.

I feel like there is an avalanche of "stuff" going on right now. Honestly, I am not sure I have ever experienced such a combination of work stress and personal stress at any other time of my life. It makes the retreat into mindless eating and thoughtless food choices much too easy. It also makes it far too easy to skip over activity that my body needs. This is where tracking becomes vital for me. It puts those choices in front of me, forces me to look at them - they can't be thoughtless when I have to track them.

One thing I had noticed is that a few of my tracking activities had dropped off long before this week. The one that probably has the most impact is tracking my water and activity. So, on opening up my tracker I devised a nice way to make my tracking even easier for those things - AND, more importantly, more readily visible (that is what you see up at the top of this post). I intend to put this new technique to the test and see how much it helps in my continuing efforts.

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for a great many things. I lead an extraordinarily lucky and privileged life. The accident of my birth has given me wonderful advantages. Sometimes, I think it is when we forget to be thankful for those things is when it is easiest for us to slip into a mindset that is not grateful. And, I firmly believe that mindset, for me at least, is one that is often accompanied by thoughtless eating in a hope to fill the space of some perceived shortcoming in our life.

Surrounded by family I enjoyed myself a lot. Chatted with the family I don't see nearly often enough. Laughing with them about any manner of things. That is the type of blessing that is not easily replaced (not even by cream cheese pumpkin rolls).

I am also blessed to have a body that was able to get up this morning and do a morning dance party and my  8 mins workout without any significant aches and pains.

Now as I sit here, a bit drowsy from overdoing it at the table. I don't feel any particular need to comment on my choices except that I could have stopped when I was full - and waited to have a bit more later. I am content and will go to bed tonight knowing I am blessed.

Contemplation on Inner Dialog and Judgement

I have been thinking about this a LOT lately. Maybe it is because I have been feeling so judgmental lately. It is not a trait I cherish in myself, but it is one I have a really hard time fighting off.

This has made me wonder if our worst thoughts about others are just a reflection of our worst thoughts about ourself. Are they simply a reflection of our own fears and insecurities. Last night I posted about how I am feeling less confident in myself to overcome some new challenges. One of those things is about my memory and learning ability - and that it doesn't feel as strong as it once was. And I realize that I have had such a low tolerance for others in that regard lately. Probably because it has been bothering me a lot about myself.

So, recognizing this is one thing. Doing something about it is another altogether. I came across an article that hit on three points that I knew, but really needed a refresher on (I am labelling them here with my own names so I can try to weld them into my brain).

1. Pause! when you catch yourself mid-judgement just stop. Acknowledge what you are doing - awareness and breaking into that pattern is the first step.

2. Alter! change that judgement into some type of praise (I honestly am not sure I know how I would do this when I am judging the guy or girl in their ultra souped up noise machine of a vehicle - but I will try to think of something!). Maybe the times this is very hard will be the times I will get the most out of it.

3. Reflect! Look at yourself and see if the behaviour or trait you have a problem with is one you possess yourself. I already know and have acknowledged that this is the case for me a LOT of the time. Maybe accepting those things in myself is the key to accepting them in others? I am not sure, but again I think awareness is an important part of this.

And I will add one more that is an amalgam of various other things I have read

4. Release! Once you have acknowledged it and taken the time to examine it, don't let it linger with you. Let go of your judgement of the other person, of yourself.  Forgive yourself for it so you can move past it and grow from the experience.

Success on Steps from Last Post - AND New Horizons

Sometimes it is easy to notice and write about the challenges and struggles and hard to celebrate the victories (big and small). Other times it is the opposite. For this post, I want to celebrate a win and acknowledge a challenge.

The win - I did just what I said I was going to do in my last blog post. I did my morning dance party the other day, and I walked to the grocery store during my lunch break. This boost isn't a new start, but it is a "refresher" as it helps to renew my energy for this overhaul I am going through. Oh, and I did clean out my fridge freezer too!

The challenge is a bit more personal. I am living alone for the first time in my life. It is a real adjustment. And, I am not sure how I will do with it. There are a lot of things I need to do on my own now - some of which I am looking forward to, others of which I am not. The snow on my sidewalks is a mixed feelings item. I don't mind shovelling snow, but I don't actually know where the shovel is :S.

I think one of the scariest things about this new adventure is the number of things I am going to need to learn. A couple years ago I think I would have felt more confident in my ability to learn all these things. Now, I feel less secure in that. Get ready for a TMI - I think in large part my concern is coming out of another new horizon (perimenopause).

So, why am I pointing the finger at perimenopause? Mostly because of sleep. It doesn't seem to matter if I go to bed at a good regular time (and decently early), I either take forever to fall asleep, or I wake up feeling like I barely slept at all or both.

The lack of rest has me feeling the impact in so many different areas. I feel like it is playing havoc with my memory. That makes work harder for sure. But it also makes me feel less confident in my ability to learn some of the new things that would make solo living easier. Or, even remembering what things need to be done (changing furnace filters, cleaning out eavestroughs, getting trees trimmed etc).

As an end note, I will hope that if anyone actually reads this that they can send a few positive thoughts my way. Wish me luck in working through these new horizons and finding lots of cause to celebrate victories along the way. And, mostly, wish me a good night's sleep!

Valley Girl - Running in Circles (not really running though)

I don't mind admitting that I am still struggling. This is definitely a valley when it comes to making healthy choices. The reasons are that nasty cyclical thing --> bad sleep --> no energy to move and exercise --> bad sleep --> no exercise --> you get the picture. Plus, tired makes it soooo very easy to cut corners on food choices. Ordering food in (and not even remotely healthy food) becomes more common than I would like.

I have been hitting bed early pretty regularly. So, I don't think that is what I need to fix. That leaves me thinking that I really need to get moving more. If I get and keep moving my hope is that the better quality sleep will come.

The Plan! It is simple and it is easy. Tomorrow morning I am going to do my morning dance party and my 8 minutes in the morning workout. Even when I am tired I can manage this, so manage it I will. I will follow that with a healthy breakfast. A walk to the grocery store at lunch so I can have a nice green smoothie lunch will help to raise my step count and make healthy food choices easier.

The next part of the plan??? I keep thinking that better start with cleaning out my fridge and freezer so I can do some good healthy meal prep. It is always a help to have something healthy in the freezer you can just heat up for supper when you are tired after work. But I think the fridge clean out will wait for the weekend. 

Struggles - And My Plans to Escape Them

The last little while has been a bit of a slog. I have been making some unhealthy food choices – which is okay in moderation, but moderation hasn't really been the description I would use. But in fairness to myself it hasn't been an all-out no holds barred eating and lazing about fest either.

I can blame it on a whole series of things but ultimately it comes down to choice. I have made choices that don't support my desire to get into better shape and to feel better – to put less of a strain on my feet and knees (the knee is top of mind today because it was giving me a lot of grief after a tiny bit of hyperextension got it worked up).

Choices that I feel would better support my goal:

1. Preparing some pre-made and ready to heat up meals for days when work has sucked the energy out of me.
2. Keep moving – it energizes me and is absolutely vital to the process. Working at the office instead of home is a good first step – although that has been hard lately because of the ultra cold office temperature. But I am just going to have to come up with some keep warm clothing layering strategies.
3. Set an alarm clock for bed time – almost every time I slip into a pattern of making unhealthy choices it stems from a very tired starting point. Going to set the alarm right now on my fitbit – and DONE.

Newtonian Physics and Fitness

The writing podcast that I have been thoroughly enjoying has certainly been helping me with my fiction writing – at least I hope. I admit most of it hasn't had much impact on what I write on here, I tend to be fairly stream of consciousness when I write my posts. But now it is time for them to collide.

It only looks like one of Saturn's moons is colliding with it. Not like the actual connection between writing excuses and this blog that is about to happen. There is one of their podcasts  http://www.writingexcuses.com/2016/01/24/11-04-newtons-laws-of-writing/ that put the three laws into terms of writing. The first is a body in motion tends to stay in motion, and a body at rest tends to stay at rest. The second one is the formula force = mass times acceleration. The third is for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

So I want to translate those to this journey, this challenge of getting fit – and keeping fit.

Body in motion – to me this one speaks to how much easier it is to keep going than it is to start in the first place. But it also explains to me why it can be so easy to come to a dead stop and give up – because sometimes something that should just feel like a bump (say a day or a couple days of unhealthy food choices or lack of activity) can feel like a dead stop. Requiring all that force to restart the motion.

All I can really say is that if we can really try to keep in mind that those are just speed bumps not stop signs we can probably get through them.

The second one – the formula - I will ignore the obvious part of this that applies to the actual motion of exercises. I liked the writing excuses version which basically is results = motivation times focus. This is all about knowing what you want and driving yourself towards it. But this doesn't sit alone – there are 3 of these babies.

Third – action and reaction. This is the one that I think people get completely hung up on. When they have a specific reaction they are looking for, and that is the only reaction they consider or care about. But in the human body (which is a complex system and where each of us has our own idiosyncrasies of how our body responds) it is so important to remember that not all the reactions will be visible on the surface. This is why I have relegated the scale to once a month. It is why I am hoping to add in other things, other measures that are meaningful to me. I don't want to fall into the trap of needing a particular reaction to keep number one in motion, I don't want the lack of some expected reaction to be a stop sign.

So that is my application of the laws to this journey I am on. Now I am going to use this to note that my word count in my writing goal is currently in motion!