Struggles - And My Plans to Escape Them

The last little while has been a bit of a slog. I have been making some unhealthy food choices – which is okay in moderation, but moderation hasn't really been the description I would use. But in fairness to myself it hasn't been an all-out no holds barred eating and lazing about fest either.

I can blame it on a whole series of things but ultimately it comes down to choice. I have made choices that don't support my desire to get into better shape and to feel better – to put less of a strain on my feet and knees (the knee is top of mind today because it was giving me a lot of grief after a tiny bit of hyperextension got it worked up).

Choices that I feel would better support my goal:

1. Preparing some pre-made and ready to heat up meals for days when work has sucked the energy out of me.
2. Keep moving – it energizes me and is absolutely vital to the process. Working at the office instead of home is a good first step – although that has been hard lately because of the ultra cold office temperature. But I am just going to have to come up with some keep warm clothing layering strategies.
3. Set an alarm clock for bed time – almost every time I slip into a pattern of making unhealthy choices it stems from a very tired starting point. Going to set the alarm right now on my fitbit – and DONE.

Newtonian Physics and Fitness

The writing podcast that I have been thoroughly enjoying has certainly been helping me with my fiction writing – at least I hope. I admit most of it hasn't had much impact on what I write on here, I tend to be fairly stream of consciousness when I write my posts. But now it is time for them to collide.

It only looks like one of Saturn's moons is colliding with it. Not like the actual connection between writing excuses and this blog that is about to happen. There is one of their podcasts  http://www.writingexcuses.com/2016/01/24/11-04-newtons-laws-of-writing/ that put the three laws into terms of writing. The first is a body in motion tends to stay in motion, and a body at rest tends to stay at rest. The second one is the formula force = mass times acceleration. The third is for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

So I want to translate those to this journey, this challenge of getting fit – and keeping fit.

Body in motion – to me this one speaks to how much easier it is to keep going than it is to start in the first place. But it also explains to me why it can be so easy to come to a dead stop and give up – because sometimes something that should just feel like a bump (say a day or a couple days of unhealthy food choices or lack of activity) can feel like a dead stop. Requiring all that force to restart the motion.

All I can really say is that if we can really try to keep in mind that those are just speed bumps not stop signs we can probably get through them.

The second one – the formula - I will ignore the obvious part of this that applies to the actual motion of exercises. I liked the writing excuses version which basically is results = motivation times focus. This is all about knowing what you want and driving yourself towards it. But this doesn't sit alone – there are 3 of these babies.

Third – action and reaction. This is the one that I think people get completely hung up on. When they have a specific reaction they are looking for, and that is the only reaction they consider or care about. But in the human body (which is a complex system and where each of us has our own idiosyncrasies of how our body responds) it is so important to remember that not all the reactions will be visible on the surface. This is why I have relegated the scale to once a month. It is why I am hoping to add in other things, other measures that are meaningful to me. I don't want to fall into the trap of needing a particular reaction to keep number one in motion, I don't want the lack of some expected reaction to be a stop sign.

So that is my application of the laws to this journey I am on. Now I am going to use this to note that my word count in my writing goal is currently in motion!

Movement and Intention

I think I mentioned that I am back at doing my 8 minutes in the morning exercises. Although I won't do them every day – for example on days when I have aquacize I will allow myself the choice of whether to do dance party and 8 minutes or not. Sometimes I probably will, sometimes not.

The reason I mention it today is that today was hamstrings and quads. Hamstrings is a prone pelvic lift (but with your feet on a chair).

By the way I can't take credit for drawing this. I found a picture online then just did a bit of playing with picture effects to make it purple and looking like it was hand drawn.

So as I started them I could feel right away that my low back was feeling it. I know from having heard it many times at pilates classes that if you don't have intention with this – if you don't properly engage your glutes you will dump into your low back – and sure enough that is what I was doing.

I quickly adjusted my intention, engaging my rear end as I should have been from the beginning – and lo and behold what do you think happened??? That's right – it is no real surprise but the issue with my low back evaporated.

So here is my reminder to you and to myself – proper form and conscious intention in movement will help keep you safe in your activities so you are able to continue enjoying them for a long, long time!

Love Songs --> Self Lovin'

So a while ago I wrote about how a particular song by Dido was for me, at that moment seeming to be a song about freeing yourself. Not necessarily about the obvious story of meeting someone on vacation.

Tonight I am again immersed in my Dido song list and Chantal Kreviazuk song list and realizing that practically any "love song" if you look at it as the other person being yourself – they can be full of great advice on how to love yourself. I am kind of enjoying that thought process of how we can look to ourselves as the loves in these songs. Some really resonate for me that way – others well maybe not so much.

I will continue to work on this front - to accept and love myself the way I would if I was the star of a love song from me, to me. I have a way to go, but I feel closer to that goal than I remember being before. I know I have done a lot less negative self talk about the shape I have currently and the look of my body currently. It isn't that my acceptance and appreciation of how I look now means that I don't want to get fitter or healthier - just that I am feeling more okay in my skin as it is now so the fitness is more about the other things not just the look of it. 

But even on that front I still have a way to go - as I do still need to wrap my head around the idea of how to deal with someone else who might not be as accepting of me as I am now. As I think about re-entering the world of dating for the first time in a very long time that part of things dwells in my mind a bit. And that is when some of that acceptance crashes down and I wonder will I need to justify or explain or something. But then I think to heck with that - if all they see is my few extra pounds they aren't the right person for me. 

Even when I am fitter, the marks of my weight will still be with me so that too I will need to deal with. I know before when I lost my weight (notice that wording - I know my mindset then wasn't as good as it could be - and it is still hard to break those thought patterns that revolve around the scale). I think there was a part of me that hated my body more then in some ways, the excess skin and stretch marks. I know I wasn't in love with my body then because I even thought about whether surgical options might be a good idea. Yet I am adamantly opposed to taking that kind of risk on something purely cosmetic in nature. I am still working on that - because the idea continues to float through my mind occasionally. I admit it is mostly because of the overhanging bit on my belly that creates a sweaty uncomfortable area on my body. Probably because it is uncomfortable (and I admit I still can't quite come to peace with the appearance of it) it will continue to float in my mind to some degree. 

Wish me luck on quest : finding that self love and keeping that self love in place as I work my way to a fitter body.

On to the fitness front, and how I did a bit of self love through fitness this morning. It was morning dance party for a few songs. Then I thought it was a good idea to revisit the 8 minutes in the morning workouts I used to do. I like it because it is two exercises – strength exercises that shouldn't take much longer than 8 or 10 minutes to do the 4 sets of 12 of each of them. Although in my experience with it in the past is that there are a few where it is something that is one arm at a time or one leg at a time that take a little longer. But even those ones are probably only 15 minutes or so.

So, amidst the other things I am working on, I am going to try to keep up my 8 minutes in the morning exercises at least 3 times a week. It feels like a good mix with the other stuff I am hoping to keep going. None of it feels like "too much" right now. I think the blend and variety of things will keep it interesting enough to keep me engaged.

Deep Water Fitness

Deep water aquacize class was fantastic. Where has this been all my life? Why haven't I tried it before? The workout is surprisingly good, it had me feeling the burn in various muscle groups, and it even got me breathing heavy. LOL I can think of other things I would rather be breathing heavy over but I suspect that Jeffrey Dean Morgan isn't going to be in Saskatoon any time soon.

So the workout did highlight once again that my hamstrings are in a weird place. While they are pretty flexible – they are tight as heck, and I don't think they are very strong. So that is definitely something for me to think about.

The great bit is that I can do this a couple times a week at lunch. I had worried about doing a pool based class at lunch time. But it wasn't hard to keep my head out of the water – so I don't need to worry about having to wash my hair afterwards if I don't want to. Which also means I don't need to wear my skull crushing swim cap. Heck I could probably even be fine with wearing my makeup (eye makeup is all I really wear – but with a "runny" non-waterproof mascara). 

** On the RANT side of things – since I said sometimes I would rant on here **

I wish my city would get its act together with the transit system. If I didn't know better I would think someone responsible for planning route changes has been sitting there for the last few years and going – hmmmmm let's see, how can we make the bus service for czing just incrementally worse. Not bad enough that she gives up on the bus completely, but just a smidge worse. Of course the rational side of me doesn't believe that is the case – I am not nearly so important as that ;)

I NEED to Move it Move it

I have a serious issue. I am able to see it quite clearly right now, I need some kind of activity that will really spur me on. Get and keep me moving. Something that excites me, something I can really enjoy, enjoy in the way that it makes me want to make the effort to go out and do it.

The catch is that I am currently also putting myself on a rather tight budget  for now – so I know it won't be a return to the pilates studio. Although I do think that next year's flex spending will all go towards personal spending account so that if I want to get back to a bit of pilates studio stuff I can hopefully at least cover a few packs of classes with that PSA money.

In the meantime I really need to get myself going to the yoga classes. Either that or I need to start trying some of the other ones they offer at the PAC (since at least that isn't out of pocket money for me).

AND BOOM – Ask and you shall receive. I just checked the schedule and they have started the deep water aquacize class that I wanted to try out. I signed up for Wednesday (lunch time class so we will see how I like pool time in the middle of the day).

I also see that on Thursdays they have added a 7am yoga class. That sounds very appealing to me. It might be a bit of a challenge to get there on time for it. But I think I will have to give it a try. I really do enjoy starting my day with something – I find it so much easier to stick with than something that is later in the day. Although I do think the noon classes should be okay once I get into the swing of them.

The other class I might have to try out once or twice is the Zumba class. I think it just seems like it would be a lot of fun.

So, see that wasn't that hard actually. Glad I started to write this or else I might not have gone to look at the fitness centre calendar and then I wouldn't have noticed what was coming up and the opportunities I would have to try some new things I have been considering!

LOL I was going to put in a link for the video for "I like to move it move it" but I have opted for the one from Madagascar instead. Whichever one it is - I need something that helps me to remember that I do LIKE to move it move it.