Love Songs --> Self Lovin'

So a while ago I wrote about how a particular song by Dido was for me, at that moment seeming to be a song about freeing yourself. Not necessarily about the obvious story of meeting someone on vacation.

Tonight I am again immersed in my Dido song list and Chantal Kreviazuk song list and realizing that practically any "love song" if you look at it as the other person being yourself – they can be full of great advice on how to love yourself. I am kind of enjoying that thought process of how we can look to ourselves as the loves in these songs. Some really resonate for me that way – others well maybe not so much.

I will continue to work on this front - to accept and love myself the way I would if I was the star of a love song from me, to me. I have a way to go, but I feel closer to that goal than I remember being before. I know I have done a lot less negative self talk about the shape I have currently and the look of my body currently. It isn't that my acceptance and appreciation of how I look now means that I don't want to get fitter or healthier - just that I am feeling more okay in my skin as it is now so the fitness is more about the other things not just the look of it. 

But even on that front I still have a way to go - as I do still need to wrap my head around the idea of how to deal with someone else who might not be as accepting of me as I am now. As I think about re-entering the world of dating for the first time in a very long time that part of things dwells in my mind a bit. And that is when some of that acceptance crashes down and I wonder will I need to justify or explain or something. But then I think to heck with that - if all they see is my few extra pounds they aren't the right person for me. 

Even when I am fitter, the marks of my weight will still be with me so that too I will need to deal with. I know before when I lost my weight (notice that wording - I know my mindset then wasn't as good as it could be - and it is still hard to break those thought patterns that revolve around the scale). I think there was a part of me that hated my body more then in some ways, the excess skin and stretch marks. I know I wasn't in love with my body then because I even thought about whether surgical options might be a good idea. Yet I am adamantly opposed to taking that kind of risk on something purely cosmetic in nature. I am still working on that - because the idea continues to float through my mind occasionally. I admit it is mostly because of the overhanging bit on my belly that creates a sweaty uncomfortable area on my body. Probably because it is uncomfortable (and I admit I still can't quite come to peace with the appearance of it) it will continue to float in my mind to some degree. 

Wish me luck on quest : finding that self love and keeping that self love in place as I work my way to a fitter body.

On to the fitness front, and how I did a bit of self love through fitness this morning. It was morning dance party for a few songs. Then I thought it was a good idea to revisit the 8 minutes in the morning workouts I used to do. I like it because it is two exercises – strength exercises that shouldn't take much longer than 8 or 10 minutes to do the 4 sets of 12 of each of them. Although in my experience with it in the past is that there are a few where it is something that is one arm at a time or one leg at a time that take a little longer. But even those ones are probably only 15 minutes or so.

So, amidst the other things I am working on, I am going to try to keep up my 8 minutes in the morning exercises at least 3 times a week. It feels like a good mix with the other stuff I am hoping to keep going. None of it feels like "too much" right now. I think the blend and variety of things will keep it interesting enough to keep me engaged.