I think that everyone has their triggers for what makes them unconsciously try to sabotage their own efforts at something. For a lot of people it seems like some small negative result can do that to them. For me I find the first instance of positive praise I receive as I start doing something is the one that tries to trigger it for me.
Today I went to my private pilates session (so I would feel comfortable going to my first group class). The instructor gave me a lot of praise about how I control my body and my awareness of my movement etc. And it is the oddest thing that as I was driving home from the session I actually heard myself deep down inside start thinking about stopping what I am doing. But thankfully the last time that I actually did the self sabotage following a compliment I finally recognized what I was doing. So now that I am aware of it - I am saying NO - SUBCONSCIOUS FEARS YOU DON'T CONTROL ME - YOU CAN'T MAKE ME STOP WHAT I AM DOING.
I think that what it comes down to is that if I am successful at whatever it is that I am doing that maybe others expectations of me and my expectations of myself will change and I will have to leave the comfort zone of carrying on just as I have been. The stupid thing is that carrying on the way I had been for the last several years is not comfortable - it is the exact opposite of that. I was not happy most of the time, I didn't feel healthy, I definitely didn't feel fit or capable of doing very much physical effort. So I ask myself how was that comfortable? Why would I possibly want to stay in that place? Well the answer is that it wasn't comfortable, and I am not going to stay in that place!!!!
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